August 2000 volume 52
spaces by John L. Stone
 
M y soul shivered, my body trembled and my mind would not focus for what seemed an eternity. I stood and stared at the weathered pine board wall of the old corral's loading chute. The walls on each side of me had seemed to become closer together as I paced forward. The chute led from the large square corral and made a 90 degree bend at about 10 feet from it's beginning. Around the corner, the next section had a ramp that rose to the height of the bed of a cattle truck. I stood on a spot just before the bend and I could not see around the corner. I could only see the high board walls on each side and in front of me. Around the corner was unknown space. How long I stood there, silent and still, I do not know.
I arrived at this place, at this moment in time by way of the cats nemesis, curiosity. The old corral is visible from the highway and I have gazed at it many times as I passed by, often wondering what it was like up close. How big was it? How was it constructed? How old was it? Mine were the questions of one who enjoys building things, and seeing how things are built.
On this particularly fine sunny day, I decided to stop and satisfy my curiosity about the old corral. I walked the 50 yards from the side of the highway where I parked my car to the corral and quickly climbed to the top of the fence to get a good view of what was there. The main structure looked to be about 50 feet by 60 feet with walls about 6 feet high. The walls were nailed to upright railroad ties. It was a very sturdy structure. made to withstant escape attempts. There were two gates. One opened into a pasture, and the other opened into a chute that was about 4 feet wide. The chute was built in a sort-of zig-zag pattern. If you were walking through it, you would make a left turn, and after about 10 feet you would make a right turn. There was a place for a cattle truck to back up to the end of the chute and load the cattle.
As I climbed down from the high wall into the corral, I immediately felt isolated from any familiar surroundings. I walked around in the corral and imagined what the frightened cattle must have felt when they were herded into this very spot. I could almost hear their bellowing and see their eyes dart back and forth, looking for a way to escape.
With the gate to the chute opened, It appeared to be a possible way out eventhough you could only see the high walls that formed the sides of the chute. You couldn't see any wide open spaces of freedom, but it looked as if going through that tunnel of the chute was the only possible way out.
So I entered that mysterious tunnel, just the way I imagined the captive beasts would have. I whistled a little tune, the kind of tune a youngster might whistle as he walks past a graveyard late at night. I knew what was at the end of the tunnel because I had just seen the entire thing from high up on the corral wall. But sometimes, what you know and what you feel are two different things.
As I approached the final bend in the tunnel-chute, my imagination was taking over and I could feel the uncertainty and fear of countless beasts before me. For an instant, I knew what it was like to be herded and proded and forced into an alien environment. The uncertainty of immediate future.
For an instant, my imagination took me to another dimension. And abruptly, I was back to reality. feeling foolish for my flight of fancy.
Copyright (C) 1998. All rights reserved by John L. Stone.
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