Pegged by Roger Zeitel

The honeymoon
    Things have been going great in my new relationship. However, the honeymoon is just about to end. You see Susan's two kids have been away in Japan for two weeks and are due home this weekend. Then it's back to being mom. And we'll have to see where I fit into all of that. Especially since Susan tells me her kids have hated every man she's dated since her divorce.
    But I'm getting ahead of myself. I feel fairly confident that she'll find the time to get together with me. After all, I've been making her feel real good lately. As for the kids, who could hate a hacker/martial-artist/musician?

One of these days
    Most of the time I do the same thing the same way every day. But when you least expect it, I'll break out of the mode. For example, the other day, I just got fed up and bored playing the same old white Fender Telecaster guitar. So I went to the closet and whipped out my black Fender Stratocaster. And took it to the jam the next night. The night I killed.
    Somehow, the difference in that guitar brought out a difference in my guitar playing. Or maybe it was just coincidence. Alex, the guitarist for the house band, told me that although my sound was very different, it suited me better. For him to even talk to me is a high complement. One of these days ...

The kid's all right
    Last night was Spencer and Charlotte's end of the year barbecue at the YWCA Kids Connection. It really opened my eyes to what a beautiful and happily adjusted child Spencer really is. His class of mostly girls absolutely adore him. And he was just all smiles all evening. A little hyperactive, but then again kids just seem to have a ton of energy to burn. What a relief. The kid's all right.

Disheartening
    Had a very disheartening conversation the other night with Alex, the guitarist in the house band at the Dooley Macs jam. A great player, he was bitching about how there was virtually no money to be made playing blues. Very few gigs and very small audiences. And this guy plays in an excellent group - The Roxy Perry Band. Furthermore, the jam may not continue after June because of the low turn out. After all, the bar has got to make up the $200 it puts out to the band.

Special privileges
    So far it's been a great week for the jams. I hate to admit it, but I've started getting special privileges from the guys who run them. On both Monday and Wednesday, they bumped me ahead of another person and put me up with the house band. The first night, they did it because they knew the first drummer was awful. On the second occasion, they moved me up because I requested to play with the house guitarist and it was easier to put me up then switch the whole band around.
    For whatever reasons that I lucked out, both nights were smoking. I had great rhythm sections and great second guitarists to trade riffs with.

Here's a secret
    Sometimes you just have to let go. That's where I'm at. Just wrapped too tight. I've placed so many burdens on myself that it's killing me slowly. And what's worse is that I've lost the desire to do anything. Was so sick and depressed yesterday that I went home from work and slept for two hours. Didn't do TKD, didn't play music. Finally forced myself to go to the jam even though I had no energy. Wasn't worth it. Played with two different drummers who couldn't keep a beat. Went home and watched the Lakers win the NBA championships.
    Here's a secret. I'm having difficulty facing the fact that I'll I'll never be another Eric Clapton or Bruce Lee. But I am cutting myself some slack until I get better. You see when I'm relaxed, I'm actually fun to be around. Good sense of humor and all. It's just that I never relax anymore. Did anyone say vacation?

Health and trust
    Back in the saddle again. Maybe a bit prematurely. As I've got a bad cough and congestion today. Funny how you take your health for granted until it's gone. Not that mine's gone. And it's not even worse than before. It's just that I do so much more than I used to. Take for instance last night. Work, TKD and the jam. Didn't stop going 'til 11:30 PM.
    And now on to a completely different subject. Management. And why they inspire so little trust. Case in point. Yesterday morning I was lectured on how my little group at work was a team. Yesterday afternoon my contract (as well as the other consultant here) was cut short. Now that's putting your money where your mouth is.

Where I belong
    Had a great three day weekend. Spent most of it with Michele. We're back to the getting to know each other, honeymoon, phase. Cause her kids left on vacation Friday to spend two weeks in California. There are so many things I like about her. Her great taste and interest in music. The fact that she's an artist and creates incredible sculptures. That I turn her on immensely. That she turns me on immensely. And that she always keeps me entertained. Usually just by talking.
    The best part is that she gives me a place in this world. A place where I belong.

Copyright (C) 2000. All rights reserved by Roger Zeitel